They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to working toward a resolution. I admit it, I am addicted to scary television, and even though I know I won’t be able to sleep if I watch it, I can’t turn off the TV.
A few weeks ago I was watching a program about the 20 most horrifying unsolved murders. About halfway into the show I remembered I had laundry in the basement that needed to go into the dryer, but I was suddenly paralyzed with fear.
Perhaps the Zodiac Killer (one of the perpetrators profiled on the show) was hiding in my basement. Now considering that the Zodiac Killer targeted his victims in California more than 20 years ago, the chances of him suddenly resurfacing in Maine in my basement are slim to none. Rationally I know this. But the other part of my brain, the irrational part, is picturing this (now elderly) killer tucked behind the drying rack ready to pounce as soon as I turn my back.
Using our digital video recorder I paused the show and turned to my boyfriend Tim.
“I have a problem,” I tell him.
He looks up from his computer where he is working.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“I need you to come with me down to the basement,” I reply.
Tim is used to my scary TV show behavior, and when I tell him I am watching a show about unsolved murders he knows he will have to accompany me to the basement. I know when I begin watching the show that this will happen, but for some reason I can’t resist. If I watch “Law and Order” right before I go to sleep I become convinced that I will awake to find a criminal crawling through my window. Of course, this has never happened. But, like I said, I can’t help myself.
Some programs I avoid all together because I know the fear will be too great. “Unsolved Mysteries” is one show I have never been able to watch, not because the subject matter is too scary, but because I get freaked out by the music and the dull drone of host Robert Stack’s voice.
“America’s Most Wanted” has a similar affect on me and I have rarely been able to watch the show without suffering nightmares or sleepless nights. Scientific research has indicated that people enjoy being scared if they know the danger is not real. When watching “Law and Order” or old reruns of “NYPD Blue” I know that the cops will usually catch the bad guy and put him in jail. I know that I am not actually in danger.
In the aforementioned laundry incident I think the word “unsolved” is what put me on high alert. The crimes I was watching, which included everything from the murder to JonBenet Ramsey to the disappearance of high school senior Natalie Holloway, were all unsolved. This means the bad guys are still out there and could, theoretically, be heading for my Munjoy Hill neighborhood.
It’s the same reason people get excited by horror movies like the “Halloween” series. Even though the viewer knows the danger is not real, a little fear can make for an exciting two hours in a dark theater.
When I was probably too young to watch it, I saw the movie “Poltergeist II,” and I was terrified. I awoke one night to a breeze blowing through my window and as I rolled over in my bed the image I saw through partially sleep heavy eyes was the movie's villain Cain walking toward me.
I bolted upright and sprang from my bed. Within an instant I was in the hallway banging on my mother’s bedroom door in tears. Once she had me calmed down she brought me back into my room, this time with the lights on. What I thought was Cain was actually remnants of an old Halloween costume that had been hanging on my clothes tree. The black hat on top made the clothes look like a person walking when moved by the breeze.
As she tucked me back into bed my mother wondered out loud why on earth my father had allowed me to see this movie. Despite my fear I was hooked and I’m still a sucker for scary TV and movies to this day — as long as I’m not actually in danger that is. — Brandi Neal